Hi everyone, I have been on emotional rollercoaster the last few weeks. The loan company for my mortgage says I need a co-signer. I have been on a mission to find one, so we can get out of this house. I have met some very dishonest people through this. I really need to get out of this house. It is the last thing that connects me to my past. Pray for me to find a cosigner, no my family will not help. That bridge is still trying to be built back.
Anyway, I officially have a service dog, who has to be trained in my triggers. She is with me at all times. She has learned to wake me up from my nightmares. To jump into my lap when I start having a panic attack. She is still a puppy so she misbehaves from time to time, but she is learning. She has learned some basic commands and is now slowly being trained to go out with me. She is a wonderful addition to our family. Hermione (Her, mine, e) has been a life saver for my marriage and calmness.
One of the things, she has made possible is for my husband to leave and go run errands without the children or myself. He has been to the city (35miles away) and to the store several times now. I am not pacing the floor, or in a ball crying now. I actually got some quilting done when he went downtown yesterday. This was a major step for me.
Next week, I am going to the doctor, for my mental health medications refills. However, I am going to have to talk to the doctor about my tremors. They are getting worse. The second my hand is still (meaning my fingers are not moving) my hands are shaking. I have started to drop cups, and other things. I know that I am at major risk for Parkinson’s because of the abuse. Just pray that we find out what it is, so either I can start therapy, or at least know what will help ease them. I am excited but nervous to talk to her about this, but I can not progress anymore until I do. I hope that everyone is well. Always and Stay Safe- Josie